Monday, 14 May 2018


Since posting about my anxiety a little bit more in detail in February and having so many people showing more interest in that one particular post it got me thinking that I want to include more about anxiety regularly as mental health is so important!
I've wanted to create a series for a while now where I can talk about mine and others experiences dealing with anxiety and what it feels like so that other people can get help from it if they're struggling with it themselves or have someone around them that needs your support.
Today marks the start of Mental Health Awareness Week so thought this was quite an appropriate time to begin a very important series on my blog.

So first of all I actually want to be more honest and explain a little bit more about myself and what I do to deal with anxiety on a daily basis. From what I can remember I've struggled with anxiety from a very young age and I just tended to do a lot of worrying as a child - pretty much about everything.
I think when I hit my late teens it did affect me a lot more because I was growing up and starting to see things from an adults point of view (and that shit's scary). This was probably when I started to exclude myself from things and I'd just have certain days where I didn't want to do anything or see anyone and I didn't quite know what the reason was that this was happening but I guess for a while I kind of thought this was normal and everyone would have their days.

Skip a couple of years and I probably reached the peak of my anxiety where I just pretty much didn't do anything or I would agree to doing something and then right up until the day I'd be fine and on the day I had no reason not to go other than not wanting to go because my anxiety was too high. Not gonna lie this made me look like a shit friend and people probably knew I was making up excuses not to go but who cares if this is how you feel you should never feel pressured to go somewhere or do something if you feel you simply can't and at this time I felt I physically couldn't.

Another huge thing for me is travelling, I have briefly mentioned it here before about how I stress myself out before going anywhere or stress myself packing to go anywhere. It got so bad last year when I went on a family holiday to Portugal that I physically couldn't talk to anyone in the minibus on the way to the airport and then again in the airport right up until I got out of security and was able to sit down to have a drink.
At the time I was travelling with my boyfriends family and only my boyfriend really knows the severity of my anxiety but that was okay because he fully understands and knows how I deal with everything and he acts as my amazing support system too. After struggling both there and back in the airport on that holiday I decided to take further action and go and seek some advice from a therapist.
This was a task in itself as I had booked appointments twice to go and ended up cancelling on them both because I was so embarrassed to go and had the thought running through my head 'what if someone I know sees me in the waiting room?' it was only after cancelling both of these I was like 'ok come on Emeli you have to do this for yourself' and I did and it was the best thing I've done.

For a while I was religiously going to a therapy session around every 2-3 weeks and was not only helping me find tips and tricks to help me control my anxiety but I was gaining general knowledge about other aspects around it and other things that can be linked in for example for me I have a little bit of OCD that ties in with my anxiety.

I know if your thinking how could this tie in? Doesn't OCD mean you have to be a clean freak??
Not at all OCD is when someone has obsessive thoughts that drives them to do a certain thing over and over and this eventually helps get rid of those thoughts they first had.
For me as an example when I am travelling with both my hand luggage and my suitcase I will constantly feel the zip and lock on my suitcase over and over just to make sure its locked before I eventually hand it over and not see my suitcase again until the other end.
Now that I type that I think well thats silly Emeli, check it once and then you know its locked and done with but for me it kind of makes me feel better doing that because I can settle once I've handed my case over knowing that I have checked the lock and I know its 100% locked and there won't be any problems.

I have come to terms that my anxiety will never leave me, it'll never be something that is going to disappear over night but I have a lot more knowledge about it now and I know how to control my worry and can also calm myself down if I ever have a panic attack - which actually doesn't happen that often anymore because I know to not let myself get to that level. I know that when I'm feeling like this I don't want to leave the house or see anyone that maybe I should just take myself for a short walk to clear my head.

I'm in a good place right now and it comes from being more clued up on mental health problems, learning about yourself, testing out different techniques and the most important one - being more open about it by talking to someone which is why I wanted to start this series.
I want the word to be spread, I want people to be able to talk to each other who might be in a similar situation and I want the person who is reading this to know that they are not alone.

I hope you enjoyed reading this post and are looking forward to my series!
Leave me any comment below😁


Thursday, 12 April 2018


This week's blog post I really wanted to share with you what I have been LOVING right now. I haven't really been out too much at the minute and I think I've turned into a little bit of a hermit crab but during this I've actually found a few new TV shows and just fell in love with them and a few oldies but goldies too.
So I really wanted to share them with you today!

Grey's Anatomy
One of my best friends actually told me about Grey's so long ago and she said how amazing it is but I just kind of never got round to checking it out. I recently found NOWTV and decided to give it a whirl and I have literally been binging Grey's Anatomy ever since it is literally incredible!!

Rupaul's Drag Race
I couldn't of typed this blog post without including RPDR because my god this has been one of my favourite TV shows since I binged Season 1 & 2 way back when it first aired on Netflix.
I am now onto the current Season 10 and it is still as amazing as when I first watched it.
I just live for all of the Drag Queens on the show I love keeping up with them on Instagram and Twitter and it will honestly be one of my fav shows forever.

This was another show that I am still currently watching with my boyfriend on NOWTV and we have a little deal that we can't watch it without each other and the episodes are pretty long so it's probably gonna take a while for us to get through (which in my eyes is pretty good so that we always have something to watch). I love Scandal and all the drama that goes on so it's definitely a must watch if you've never seen it before.

I don't even think I really need to explain why friends is in this list.
Since Friends was put on to Netflix a couple of months back it's literally my go to feel good programme and it's just the best. There are so many episodes and you can just watch one after another.

The Walking Dead
I thought I would leave my absolute fav til last!
I am OBSESSED with The Walking Dead which a lot of people already know, but just thought I'd say it again so now everyone knows it...
For a while I was waaaay behind on the seasons but of course I binged and binged them and I'm well up to date now and this is another thing that I catch up on each week on NOWTV when a new ep gets aired (however its the season finale next week - I cry).

To add to my obsession of TWD my lovely, lovely friends at EMP sent me some goodies from their TWD range which is absolutely awesome.
I recently bought a hoodie which I had been eyeing up from their range for so long so I actually got this and it is my absolute fav - I am a sucker for a comfy hoodie and makes it even better that it is TWD!↓
↑ Shop my hoodie here ↑

So EMP where super generous and sent me two TWD Tee's and I absolutely love them!
They are very me and I've actually been wearing these all the time. I love dark colours on myself and love 'band style' t-shirts which both of these are. 
They are actually both Negan based shirts one being a Saviours tee and the other Negan tee which both have the 'Half Your Shit/Stuff Tour' quote on which I love.
Like I say their Walking Dead range is huge so definitely go and check out all of their other stuff in the range too!

Shop my saviours tee here (which is currently in the sale might I add - for £12.99 😱)
Shop my Negan tee here (which is also in the sale - grab it for £14.99)

Like I mentioned a tiny bit above these guys are so awesome because not only do they do sales regularly but if you keep up with them on all of their social media page's they post very regularly different codes you can use to get discount! 
I have also been sharing their discount codes regularly so you can keep up with it on my page's too.

Thank you so much to EMP for sending me these goodies, I have loved working with this brand because they offer merchandise for so many TV Shows, Movies and Music which is the type of clothing and accessories that I personally love to wear! 
I hope to be working with these guys a lot more and can keep you all up to date with it!

EMP Social Media:

Hope you guys loved reading about my fav TV shows at the minute!
Let me know what your favs are??